Good Evening lovelies!
I apologize for the long absence, but I was off in Germany studying abroad! It was amazing, and it couldn't have come at a better time.
Now unless you've been living under a rock, you already know that EXO's Kris filed suit against SM Entertainment to have his contract be terminated with the company. Fortunately, since I was in Germany for the past two weeks, I could stay away from the internet and from most of the crazy fan wars that were circulating.
Unfortunately, that left me to obsess in my own head.
And after thinking about this for a good long while, I had to ask myself something.
Is the escape really worth it?
Kpop, specifically EXO, has been my escape for the past year. Whenever something would go wrong in my life, I'd turn to these pretty, shiny idols to make me feel better and push away the real world. In doing so, I did something that I told myself I would never do. I somehow forgot that idols are people too. And I'm incredibly disappointed in myself for doing so. These idols work so hard and in such terrible conditions to make their fans happy, and a lot of fans seem to think it's all sunshine and rainbows for them, or they just don't care either way and just want the shiny costumes and catchy music.
I was wary to get into Kpop for that very reason, but somehow when EXO came along, I got sucked in. The logical part of my brain was screaming about the JYJ lawsuit, and being a conscious consumer, but the part of me that somehow needed an escape was much stronger than logic.
I had gotten so sucked in that when the news of Kris's lawsuit broke out, it hit me like a bomb. I actually cried. And not just getting teary eyed like a Morning Musume graduation, I mean like the ugly cry. It was bad.
But at the same time, it was the perfect wake up call. Reading accounts of his poor health and other such things that I will not mention to give him some sort of privacy, set alarm bells going off in my head.
This is wrong. This whole system--this machine. That's the thing about Kpop. It's a machine, and the idols are just cogs to work it so that their companies can profit from it. After thinking about it and writing my thoughts down repeatedly, it made me sick to my stomach. These companies take these young, passionate, talented people and turn them into puppets...
Some fans are calling Kris a traitor and other such things, but can you really blame him for leaving? When you aren't respected as a human being, let alone an artist, something has to be done. Humans aren't meant to be kept in cages, whether a literal cage with iron bars, or one shaped like an entertainment company.
Then I decided to look beyond Kris and SM. I remembered articles I had read in the past and brushed off. B.A.P's constant promotion cycles with no rest, Secret only allowed one meal a day, T-ara members only getting two to three hours of sleep a night, not to mention Hwayoung's ugly departure. And so much more, too many horror stories to count.
I had let myself become a part of the machine, supporting the grind of its gears, and I couldn't let myself do that anymore. The night before I left for Germany I deleted every single Kpop song I had off of my iPod.
Every. Single. Song.
Let me tell you, I have a good chunk of space available now...
It's bizarre really, seeing how this one thing took over my life. Kpop affected how I thought about the world, about music, and about myself. I was so obsessed and in so deep it was unhealthy. I've only been away from it for two weeks and I already feel so much better.
I'm not constantly comparing my looks to girl groups, I'm not trying to make art conform to anyone else's standards but my own...it's like I've found my true self again.
Though as I'm writing this, I did add a few groups back on. Namely JYJ and Block B. Those two groups have made names for themselves with companies that treat them fairly (as far as we know), and have found a way around the most hideous parts of the Kpop machine.
It's tough though. I'll find myself looking for a song and realize I deleted it, and the fact that a large majority of my friends still listen to it makes me a little uncomfortable. I just don't want to talk about it anymore, and whenever I see someone post something about their favorite Kpop idol, I have to scroll past.
After all of the emotional ups and downs, what I have it down to is this:
I will not listen to Kpop music unless it's from a company that treats its artists well. So far, that comes to JYJ, Block B, U-Kiss (though that may be debatable for some), and any independent musicians that I can find. The groups that I loved for so long I now have to push away.
It's not like I don't want to support the idols. I do. I think they're all talented and wonderful. I just can't support them because their companies profit off of them. And the only way things are going to change is if those companies lose money. That's the only language they know.
But this change can't start with me. It can't start with international fans. It has to start in South Korea, with South Korean fans, since those fans are the ones with the power, and the ones paying most of the money. Unfortunately, those are the fans that are most loyal to the companies.
I have a feeling it will take a great many years before we see any change to the machine, but until then, I'll be hoping that these idols can survive. That they can be okay, even though their careers are in the hands of greedy businessmen.
I think about the members of EXO still. I hear about their injuries from friends, and I hate to know that they let themselves be treated so terribly.
But then I think of Kris. It's bittersweet, but I know he has a chance for a new beginning. He has another chance to define himself as an artist, to pave his own path. I'll be waiting to see what he does, and whatever it is, I'm sure it will be great.
Thank you, Kris. Thank you for the wake up call that I so desperately needed. Thank you for standing up for yourself.
I hope that young Kpop fans who read this will have a few second thoughts before they choose which companies to support. I hope that this decision I've made with Kpop can transfer to all music, to all companies.
This situation has helped me start on a path to being a conscious consumer, and a better person. It's time for the idols in shiny costumes to go away, and to be replaced with something real.
