So this past weekend, the Kira Kira Maids and I went down to San Antonio for Texas Comicon, and the most amazing thing happened!
There was a lot of negative energy going around on Friday, and a lot of venting going on behind each other's backs, and it made for a tense day. When the pattern continued on Saturday and impacted our performance somewhat, I desperately wanted to leave. I just wanted to go to bed, do the show the next day, and drive home in peace.
Though when we all got back to the hotel that night we all sat down in a circle in the little living area of our room, and we all started to talk. The conversation started out as some silly things, then we all just started to air our grievances with each other. That conversation then turned into something different when we started talking about the company as a family.
Many entertainment companies like to market their idol groups as this one large family, and it's a fantastic marketing tactic. Unfortunately, a lot of the times, that's where it ends--as a marketing tactic. As I was talking, I started to tear up, because Kira Kira Entertainment (and the Kira Kira Maids) are really a family. I don't really hold auditions for the company, and all of my members came to me of their own volition. I wanted to keep that family feeling genuine, not only for the benefit of our audiences, but for our own benefit as well.
I started to tell my members about my disappointments with the company, as well as my hopes and dreams for the future, all through tears and snot and jumbled words. Miraculously, the other members started to cry too. We were all finally on the same page. We went around the circle and each member told me why they initially joined the group, and then why they decided to stay even after other members chose to leave. Hearing each of their stories brought even more tears to my eyes, and touched my heart so deeply that I felt that we had something truly amazing going on.
Many of my members told me that Kira Kira is their home, their family of choice, and the one place they feel that they can be themselves. Through being in Kira Kira, the members found their confidence, their drive, their dreams, and their passions...what started out as something so small has turned into a safe haven for so many people. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own ambitions for the company that I forget that my members love it just as much as I do. Being open with them that night helped me connect with them on an even deeper level, and I'm so proud of each and every one of them.
After that part of our talk, each member then said the thing they love most about me. Strangely enough, my eyes were dry through the whole thing. I had run out of tears to cry, and I felt so warm hearing their words, and knowing that my members--my sisters (and brothers)--look up to me so much made me feel that all of my efforts weren't in vain, and that all of my mistakes weren't as bad as I thought they were. I then told each member what I thought was wonderful about them, and my first impressions as well, and how amazing it felt to have each of them with me on this journey.
That night, my members told me that they wanted to show me that they would live up to my expectations. And that night, I realized that by working together, we could all make a bright future for our company and for ourselves. I feel so lucky that I have such an amazing team that supports me and all of my huge dreams.
Sunday's performance went over better than the previous one. We had so much positive energy to give out to our audience, and I think they loved it! We had a lot of children in the audience, so I think our positivity attracted the most positive people in the world!
The maids are preparing for our next big convention, Delta H Con, in August, and they are being so proactive! Schedules are being made, panels are being planned, a concert set list is up with two original choreography pieces, and love is being shared! There are still some who are sore on the issue of certain Kpop companies, but they have all decided to respect my decision and not use music from those companies while working within Kira Kira Entertainment. We are all working to cultivate an environment where we can all express our opinions and create art in a healthy, respectful, and ethical environment.
It's a beautiful thing.
It's definitely a process getting used to all of this change, but after this past weekend, there is no doubt in my mind that my members and I can handle it.
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